User:JohnB/Fanfiction/September 2005: A Correspondence

September 2005: A Morrowind Correspondence

This is not fan fiction in the strictest sense but a document of what it's like to encounter Morrowind for the very first time. My younger brother Joe sent the game to me because he was going to buy the "Game of the Year" edition and no longer needed the original game CD. Unfortunately, there were a few e-mails prior to the first one presented here, but they got deleted. Even so, I was still very, very new to the game, and those of you who can't quite remember that first taste of Morrowind may find this entertaining. I hope it jogs your memory. What I propose to do is offer only my side from Sep 24 to Oct 20 and, where pertinent, report how my brother responded. I have also added bracketed place names to explain where I was.

The original plan was to stop at Oct 1 when I beat Snowy Granius. I explained the following e-mails were "run-of-the-mill" and so wouldn't include them. I changed my mind because some of the e-mails were very long containing a lot of "I did this and I did that", but other e-mails covered some very pertinent problems the newcomer to Morrowind had to face: mod use, moral ambivalence in the game, and addiction. I decided this was the other--darker--half of the story that needed addressing. I only wish I could rename this The First Month: A Morrowind Correspondence, but September 2005 gives it a much better time reference.

Sep 24: Getting my Feet Wet

I dropped that lady off in Gnaar Mok, and she was true to her word and gave me the Boots of Blinding Speed.  I tried them on right then and there and suddenly it seemed something went wrong with the game because the screen went black as I took off on a wild gallop.  I could see only from the lower right map which direction I was going.  Then something attacked me, and I was flailing about with my sword.

When I took the boots off, I could see again, and there was a dead Netch nearby.  I thought, I'm not using these again!  But I never got around to selling them because they're just too valuable.  I keep a stash of heavy stuff in one of the crates in front of the Fighter's Guild in Balmora, so that's where they are now.

Anyway, one thing I wanted to do was get back into the smugglers' cave, so I headed back to Sayed Need, and who should I meet but the Elf woman [looking for the Fields of Kummu] I told you about before who I gave the brush off to.  I thought of ignoring her again but then thought maybe she can be useful.  So we continued on, and I don't know why it is, but there's a certain road with a sign pointing toward Sayed Neen but you end up back in Balmora.

I thought as long as we were here she could help me with the cave rats, so we went to that house and she helped soften up the rats upstairs.  I couldn't get the rat downstairs because I hadn't yet figured out that doors that don't open should be pulled open.  So I left the last rat for later, and we got on the silt strider back to Sayed Neen.

I had already dispatched the guard at the smugglers' cave, so I set her on the fire-throwing guy to soften him up.  I thought, if she comes out of this alive, I'll take her where she wants to go, but it didn't surprise me when she finally dropped dead.  That was a pretty treacherous thing to do, and I'll fry in cyber hell for it because the firethrower was no match for my armor and spider sword anyway--but, hey!  This is Vvardenfell!  People do things here that they'd never do in the real world.

Once I'd cleaned up there, I returned to Balmora and started taking more orders from Fire Eyes.  The next job was a stickler, and that was to get rid of the egg poachers.  I had yet to learn about keeping myself alive with potions and keeping a spare sword handy, so when the mission was accomplished, I was very near the end fighting my way back out with a miner's pick ax.

Back in the real world, at that point, a delivery man came to our door with a registered letter that I had to sign for.  My hands were shaking so badly that it looked as if it was signed by a spastic.

When I got back to Fire Eyes, I noticed she's actually starting to get nice.  She sent me to the Caldera mine to clean out those agents I'd had a terrible time with before.  So I got a jinksword from Wayn, but I'd used up most of its power by the time I got to the mine.  By dumb luck, I somehow managed to kill them all, but as I was ransacking the place, I opened the boobytrapped box.  I thought, John, for crying out loud!  Save game!  Save game!

And so I was back at the cave entrance with a spent jinksword.  I tried the Almsivi whatchamacallit, but it gave me these big hands that didn't seem to do very much. (I was trying to use the Almsivi Intervention spell but didn't have enough skill in Mysticism.)  So when I tried the spear of chastisement that I'd lifted off the festering witch, I was fast losing health.  Well, the rest is history.

After this happened the third time, I thought it's stupid to go in there without a stock of health potions and a new jinksword.  I went back to a saved game where I was just leaving Balmora with a new jinksword, and I turned back and stocked up on as many health potions as I could get my hands on.  I also took an iron longsword for fighting critters.  That way the jinksword was still new when I got back to the mine.  Then it was my turn to shout, "Prepare to die!"  Then when the dust settled, I took only the gold and stripped the bodies, leaving everything in heaps to come back to and claim later.  I hope nothing disappers by default.

The next job was to pick up the debt in Sura.  I got to the Garden of Earthly Delights and thought, what a dive!  Exotic dancers were shimmying around, and the place was almost empty.  I could only bribe the owner 100 GP, so I had to go out and steal again.  I've learned that upper rooms are always left unlocked and unattended, and it's usually the traders and pawn shops.  So I'd rob from a trader and sell at a pawn shop and vice versa, but in all the back and forth, I was bound to make a mistake, and one trader recognized his own bottle.

Joe, I literally froze!  I stood there like a lamb led to the slaughter expecting him to zap me with some magic power.  But he just stood there.  Nothing at all happened.  The transaction was merely broken off by him, so I sheepishly backed out of his shop, wiping the cyber sweat off my cyber brow.  Things like this simply don't happen in most other games.

So I returned the debt to Fire Eyes and got 200 GP for my trouble, which meant I only broke even here.  She told me to bring some Orc to justice, but I searched fruitlessly all over Balmora, so I decided I'd had enough with Fire Eyes.  I turned my attention to the assassin's guild, but they said I had to go to Vivec to sign up.  That's where I finally stopped playing.

All in all, this was quite an eventful day.  But there's one thing that I can't figure out.  What is the purpose of the construction set that comes with the game?  What do you do with it?

Sep 25: Getting into Trouble

After you told me about your helpmate near Vivec [Laura Craft], I remembered I have a "cyber-honey" waiting for me in Tel Ahrun, or so I was told by the Breton girl I'd hooked up with her beau [Nelos Onmar].  So I set out along the east coast looking for a way to get there, but found nothing but nastiness along the way--attacking ashlanders, guys with croc heads, lava, you name it.  I really don't mind the cliff racers--it's when there aren't any that I get concerned--but out there there are more than plenty of them.  At one point I was attacked by three at once.

My steel tower shield gave way, so I had to do without it.  Amazingly, with only an iron longsword and my steel armor I was able to get through there quite well.  In fact, I racked up so many points knocking off beasties that I'm now in level six.  I also met a hide salesman who'd been robbed.  Talking to him, it dawned on me that guar hides are a valuable commodity here, so I took to skinning the monsters.  The only things I refuse to collect are hound and rat meat.  Who eats that filth?

Anyway, I ended up swimming from island to island, thought of taking off the armor--good thing I didn't what with the slaughterfish.  Came to a Daedric shrine, killed three scamps, nearly killed the people until I noticed they meant me no harm.  Anyway, I thought that any girl who lives so far out of the way really isn't worth visiting, so I gave up and headed back.

Before I finished off the Orc (Dura What's-her-face) to complete the orders from Fire Eyes, the Orc told me about the guy in Moonmoth who was looking for me.  I went there and he made me his secret agent to wipe out a bunch of bad guys.  I found out from the corner club who they were and where to find them, but when I got there and tried to subdue them, things went terribly wrong.

For one thing, I struck first, so my crime was reported.  Soon the whole place was in an uproar, and I was quickly outnumbered.  So I have to go back in again, but I don't want to go in alone.  How do you enlist somebody?  (They have 100% regard for me because I already bribed them well.)  So what's the next step? (Note: I was unaware that fighting companions had to be downloaded, and Joe told me how to do that.)

Sep 30: How dead are undead?

To date I've been kind of squeamish going into tombs because of the skeletons guarding them.  The reason for that is because, in Tomb Raider VI, you can kill a skeleton only by hitting it with a grenade or, if your aim is good, knocking off its head with a crossbow.  However, I encountered two skeletons once when I was on my way to Suran and found them not all that difficult to kill.  (How can you kill something that's already dead?)  But I read somewhere that there are also ghosts to contend with, and those can't be killed. [A bit of misinformation there.]  At any rate, I try to avoid conflicts with bandits if I feel my level isn't up to snuff, which at this point is the case since I [started a new game].  That's why I'm going to enlist Mr. Cloudcleaver to help take care of the Telvanni agents in the Caldera mine.  He's one hard nut to crack the way he can stand up to that Festering Witch. And if he comes out of that mine alive, I'll see what he can do with the evil wizard on the Dwemer bridge [Snowy Granius].  When I'm good and ready for it, I want to see what goodies I can take from the tombs.

Oct 1a: Successfully Cleaning Out the Caldera Mine

My dealings with Fire Eyes didn't pan out the way I expected because I had joined the Thieves' Guild.  I should have taken that equation into consideration, and now I know why this beginner's guide plays down the significance of the Fighters' Guild.

Anyway, after I picked up the steel armor in the guard tower in Caldera (I had to buy the steel greaves at the pawn shop), I went against the guard outside the Caldera mine, and I must have been pounding away on the mouse as I was hitting him because Naomi turned around and said, "What are you doing?"  I told her, "Don't bother me now!  I'm trying to get this guy!"  "You're just like a kid," she said as I continued to pound him.

I finally got him and went and fetched Mr. Cloudcleaver.  We entered the mine, and I was amazed at how quickly he bit the dust because I'd thought he was made of sterner stuff.  But I wasn't long for this world either because he had taken on the netch helmet and I had taken on the tower shield, so we both got kacked.  When we went in the second time, I [reversed the fighting order]. ...He and the tower shield wiped each other out.  Then taking on the last one was child's play.

After I took their gold, I headed back to Fire Eyes and collected 400 pieces.  Then I went to the corner club to get the code book only to find there was a conflict of interest.  I had to reload the game to get my money back, then I went and dealt with Dura Gra-Bol on my own initiative.  There I deposited 1000 gold and some other stuff in one of the crates. [It wasn't until much later that I learned you can't do this.]  The only problem is I can't use the bed, but at least I have a headquarters now, and I like it because it's roomy and easy to spot from the outside.

After that I went to look for the young lady with the superfast boots but couldn't find her.  I can't remember where I first met her.  Maybe she hasn't come onto the scene yet, or maybe I'll run into her by chance later.  So I set out for Maar Gan killing beasties and picking up hides along the way.

Money is no problem now, and I'm avoiding paying for training this time because I found last time that I learned so much from experience that nobody could teach me anything.  And I really like this Redguard--he's a good, solid fighter and, so far, has always gotten his man.  I also prefer the iron longsword because the magic swords lose their charge and become useless, but you can always really on the iron longsword to get the job done.

Oct 1b: Exploring Up North

Since I last wrote, I've been all over the place in the Aldruhn, Maar Gan, and Gnisis areas.  First off, there was the pilgrim near Aldruhn who wanted me to escort him to a [Koal] cave near Gnisis, which is why I went in that direction (but ultimately without him).  I don't know what happened to him, but I decided a shortcut through the mountains would get us there faster.  He must have gotten lost along the way because the next thing I knew he wasn't there any more.

Well, no loss.  But I came to a magnificent Dwemer castle (of course, can't remember the name [Druscashti]) and entered but was quickly overpowered by some guy [a vampire] named Pelfer, or something like that, who was pretty good with the magic.  Seeing I was making no headway there, I decided I'd better leave that for later and headed back over the mountains in the direction of Gnisis.

Having done so, I was hit from behind by arrows, so I turned around and attacked the attackers, but it would have been just as well to ignore them and shove on.  So the second time around I attacked them from behind but found nothing of value on their persons.  Nearby was a tunnel [Ashir-Dan] that they might have been guarding, so I went in there.  I managed to kill two women (I guess "badness" is an equal opportunity employer in Morrowind) before I encountered a Redguard who was acting unusually friendly under the circumstances.  He turned out to be a wizard, and I managed to dispatch him [a healer who attacked after getting hit in the melee] and another guy, but a third guy got the better of me.

So I continued on to Gnisis and sold off the stuff I'd pillaged along the way--didn't come to very much. [I was yet unaware that Ashir-Dan had another cavern chock-full of highly valuable loot.]  With no reason for staying in Gnisis for any length of time, I continued on back to Aldruhn.  On my way out of there, I met an Imperial lady who wanted me to escort her to Ghostgate.  Her regard for me was down in the 40's, but I agreed to take her anyway.  But all she did was complain about the critters we met along the way.  I had set out cross country because I knew Ghostgate was somewhere to the east of Buckmoth fort, and when you go cross country, you're bound to be attacked by all manner of vermin.

But we didn't reach Ghostgate.  We ended up in Caldera!  And that's when she nagged me about taking her to Ghostgate, so I thought, "OK, let's see how this [expletive] handles the two-legged monsters!"  Not very well, judging by the outcome.  And when I stripped her, I found 500 GP on her person!  I don't know how much she intended to give me, but I ended up with the better end of the deal.

That's when I logged out with the intention of selling off her belongings.  One nice thing about the pawn shops and traders in Morrowind is that they don't ask questions like, "Is this your skirt?" or "Why do you have seven Imperial swords?"

Oct 1c: Finally Beating Snowy Granius

I was back in Caldera, as I said before, and I found the lady with the superfast boots.  I took her down to the bridge [to meet Snowy Granius], thinking the whole while what a scumbag I was for doing this, because it seems this kind of venture means certain death for the likes of her.  So I turned to her and gave her 100 gold, which turned her off somewhat, so I gave her another 10, and she accepted reluctantly.  I thought, if she gets out of this alive, I'll take her to Gnaar Mok.

Then I saved, and when we hit the bridge, I ran to the bastard.  She apparently took care of the skeletons.  This guy was a real push-over!--and deader than a doornail before I even knew what happened.  I turned to the lady and thought, "Honey, I'm taking you to Gnaar Mok!"

This is something of a turning point for me.  I'll keep you informed what comes of this.

Oct 3: A Number of Questions

The only things I can't figure out are:

1) when somebody says, "Somebody's watching me--I can feel it," is that me talking to myself, or somebody else talking to me?  The last time I heard it was when I was escorting the pilgrim from Aldruhn.

2) when you sell things to pawn shops and traders, they start using the things themselves.  The Redguard in the pawn shop in Caldera is now wearing chitin armor and an Imperial lady's skirt--a real sight for sore eyes!

3) just before I dropped off Pimenie in Gnaar Mok, she said if I ever needed any help she would be right there.  Is she only saying that, or does she really mean it?

Actually, she was of only marginal help during our exploits together.  Her battle ax didn't have as much reach as my longsword, and she wasn't using it to very good effect.  And she kept saying, "Am I good, or what?"  I felt like answering, "Frankly, Girl, you suck!"  In fact, just before we reached Gnaar Mok we were set upon by a rat and one of those 2-legged horned monsters.  I took on the monster, and she was killed by the rat.  I really didn't expect that, given her fighting spirit, so I resurrected her by reloading the game.  How do you keep your helper from getting killed?

Having her there on the Dwemer bridge really gave me a much-needed psychological boost.  It's true: two heads are better than one, so I wouldn't mind getting her cooperation in the future.  Which brings me back to the question: how do you enlist people's help?

(That last question was a no-brainer because Joe had already explained it to me--no can do. He finally sent me a link to the Slave Warrior Jessica with instructions what to do with it. This also involved downloading Lefemme Armor.)

Oct 4a: Addicted?

Speaking of totally addicted, I decided I'd better avoid playing on any day except Friday evening and Saturday.  The reason is because I woke at about 3 AM today wondering, is this Balmora or Seyda Neen.  When I realized I was at home, I continued wondering if home was in Balmora or Seyda Neen--extremely disconcerting and unpleasant.  I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but I tell you it felt pretty bad.  And to make matters worse, on the way to work, the theme music wouldn't stop in my head.

Having read your exploits, though, I really want to get into it again.  Last night I encountered my first vampires.  The guard went down easily but the two in the back room were more than I could handle.  At least I saved after unlocking the door, so I can go back after gaining strength.  But not today.  We have another 3-day weekend coming up.

Oct 4b: A Rocky Start with Mods

I was back in Balmora, and Jessica greeted me with a cheery, "Hail, friend!"  At first, I thought it strange that a slave would greet her lord and master in such a way, so I told her to stay in one spot.  As I passed by, she muttered, "That's disgusting."  I thought, "All right, wander around as you please."  It's just as well.

Then I headed for Vivec to try and find her armor at the Fighters' Guild.  All I could find was some Orc, but he said he'd help me only if I got some ring for him.  I thought, yeah, one more wild goose chase.  So I headed to Aldruhn to find the women armorers there mentioned in the Read Me's.  There was not one. (I didn’t realize it was the Dunmer just outside the Manor District. She had the leather Domina armor.) I'm pretty sure I double-clicked the boxes next to all my plug-ins so that the boxes are checked, but I can't find anything anywhere.

One thing I have found is that the pawnbroker in Balmora and one ranger in Vivec are standing inside strange yellow coffin-like exclamation marks.  I know this has something to do with the plug-ins because warning messages have been popping up all over the place recently, but the Read Me's said nothing about coffins appearing.

At any rate, I found almost a complete set of bonemold armor in one of the guard towers in Aldruhn, so while the guard was walking around downstairs, I quick did a switch-eroo so that now I have a lighter set of armor.  The dragon scale shield is far superior to the bonemold shield, so I retained that.  If I find I don't like the bonemold, I can always come back and collect my steel.

Anyway, how is Jessica at hand-to-hand combat?  After all, if I can't find her armor, that's what she'll end up doing.

(I wasn't aware that with Companion Share just any armor would do.)

Oct 10: Warming Up to Warrior Jessica

After I got my guy all established with the different guilds--I had quit working for Fire Eyes because when I later tried to join the Thieve's Guild, after having gotten the code book, they said they didn't need my kind (simple choice of taking a reward for the book or being able to get my bounty cleared--I chose the latter)--I decided on a clockwise tour of Morrowind, this time with Jessica.

She has been a real godsend for this type of quest.  We've made short shrift of every bandit group we've come across, sometimes just barely.  At times she seems almost human.  Once in the guard tower at Aldruhn I was comparing the bone mold armor to my own (chitin is definitely better), and she suddenly went "Shhh!"  I looked up and there was a guard wandering about.  Other times when she thinks I'm taking too long to decide what to do, she'll start humming or whistling to herself.

As a result I've come to be nice to her, asking how she is and offering to bandage her wounds, even when I know she's doing well.  You can't help but feel a strong bond when you're stuck out in the middle of nowhere not knowing where you are and beset by wild beasts on all sides.  I know what it's like to be out there all alone.

I have no idea where we are, but you probably do.  We reached Ghostgate and headed due south.  We can't be too far from Suran, but there is nothing but mountains all around.  We came to a large, low dome and nearby is an entrance that looks like a tomb, but it's not.  (Sulipund?) There's also a tomb not too far away up the valley.  I saw the names, but they didn't register because there comes a point where your mind gets really numb from all the action.

Anyway, we killed a female guard at the entrance, and I then checked how Jessica was doing.  She said she was doing wonderfully.  I offered to bandage her wounds, but she said she had no wounds, at that time of course.  Then I rested, saved and logged out.  Just before I did, I noticed Jessica can cast spells.  Now that can really be useful!

(Note: In the Oct 12th entry, I expressed doubts about her usefulness. She couldn't handle spiral staircases and often refused to fight because she wasn't being attacked.)

Oct 16: Moral Dilemmas

Last night I slept very poorly, and the reason why was because I spent hours on the game, during which I did some morally reprehensible things. Darius in Gnisis signed me up in the legion, and to prove myself, I had to go get the land deed from a widow with whom he'd had a long-standing land dispute.

So I went to her, and she told me her husband had been murdered by an imperial, and no way was I going to get her land. I tried bribery, but she kept refusing, and Darius had told me not to take "no" for an answer. I had no choice but to cut her down right then and there. Just following an order, I thought, but that rang very hollow.

On another occasion, I was searching for the Dwemer artifacts in Hla Oad when a Dunmer asked me to deliver a cat slave to somebody in Balmora. On the way, I asked her about the circumstances, and she said her stomach was stuffed full of bags of moon sugar that was being delivered to some scumbag. She suggested I let her escape instead or he'll cut her open to get the drugs.

This was a real dilemma, and it's a good thing Jessica wasn't there because she can be pretty judgmental. I wavered for a moment then told the slave I had to do what I'd promised. But just then we were set upon by three kagouti, and I saw a great opportunity for putting her out of her misery. I quickly stepped back and watched as she was swiftly dispatched.

(The fact that I later sold the moon sugar was particularly heinous, and I was starting to internalize it. I finally decided the best rule of thumb was "Don't do anything you wouldn't do in the real world." For this reason, I stopped doing Thief Guild assignments altogether but kept my membership in it in the event something went wrong and I needed to clear the bounty.)

Oct 18: The First Morrowind Dream

I slept pretty soundly last night but kept waking up every few hours feeling as if I'd been dreaming about Morrowind, but I couldn't remember what it was.  In one instance, I know I'd been fighting vampires because I could still feel the adrenaline.

Anyway, in the last dream, I was walking along a road at a foot of a high mountain and, instead of Jessica, Annie was tagging along.  I was pointing out the high mountain to her as if we were sightseeing in the Bavarian Alps. Suddenly up ahead a 4-wheel drive crashes into something and comes somersaulting down the slope towards me.  I'm going "Whoa!" and manage to stop it with my foot as it comes sliding on its side to a halt right in front of me.

I try to flag down some cars, but nobody would stop.  Anyway, I look and the 4-wheel drive is suddenly uprighted again, and the driver is none other than the fellow who I'd bought Jessica from.  I said, "Are you all right?"  He said, "Yeah, fine!" and drives off.  I think, wait a minute!  A traffic accident has to be reported!  So I go to the police office.

Who should I meet there but you, and you're looking around saying, "Not enough runes being used around here.  You have to do something about that, John."  I responded, "Yeah, and not enough orcs here either, right?"  Then I woke up.

(Joe interpreted the dream as a sign that I had finally gained control of the game to the point that I was able to stop an out-of-control 4-wheel drive just with my foot. The fact that it was being driven by Jessica's former master was significant.)

Oct 20: Jessica's Idiosyncracies

I haven't gotten around to making any enchanted items yet because I'm still at a low level. I think I'm at 3 now. Anyway, it seemed to take forever to get out of 1, what with cleaning out the smugglers' cave in Seyda Neen, the Telvanni agents in the Caldera mine and finally some bozos with nothing of value in a cave called Shushin to the east of Aldruhn.

And so, to advance in level, I started a tour of the Azuras coast area. I prefer to take a siltstrider to Suran and then walk to Molag Mar, mostly mudcrabs and cliff racers along the way. Jessica's battle cry ("You'll die where you stand!") was starting to get on my nerves. I felt like saying, "Can it, Jess! It's only a mudcrab!"

She has also proven to be somewhat intellectually challenged. We went into the tomb near Molag Mar and I attacked the vampire to preempt his magic, and she just stood there watching because I was the aggressor. I felt like telling her, "Jess, it's okay to attack vampires! You know just one exploding arrow would make things a lot easier for me!" The vampire finally went down with no small damage to myself.

She was a lot more helpful when we took on the two vampires in the back room and a fourth vampire in the back-back room. But what did I find there? Nothing but an old battle ax that could be pawned off for a few drakes. Is that all those four vampires were guarding? Maybe I'm missing something there because it was just not worth the effort.

Anyway, instead of heading up the coast, since Jessica isn't good at mountain climbing, we went over Mount Kand instead and then headed up to Ghostgate. As a result, I was able to pick up another level.

Conclusion:

I hope you found this correspondence entertaining, and I hope it brought back memories of your own experiences. Each of us reacts and benefits from these experiences in different ways. As for myself, Morrowind made a tremendous impact on my life for which I feel indebted to my brother. Before I encountered this game, I was a more timorous sort, not a risk taker. This game taught me a lot about myself, that I tended to be blind to extenuating circumstances, that there's a way to get around moral dilemmas. Great was my satisfaction when I later investigated the murder of the widow's husband and was able to hand Darius the land deed without having spilled innocent blood. I also paid some tenant farmer's rents out of my own pocket to avoid having to kill them. This made my way of thinking a lot more flexible and also more assertive to doing things my own way.

My brother tried to introduce me to Oblivion, but it was no go. I felt too much at home in Morrowind. I later bought a Skyrim game CD, but if my laptop hadn't overloaded, I would have given it up in ennui. That game lacked the cohesiveness of Morrowind. I still visit "home" every now and then just to see what I was doing last time. Who needs "Second Life" when you've got Morrowind?