User:Piratesahoy/The Tales of Porkchop/Chapters 11-20

The UESPWiki – Your source for The Elder Scrolls since 1995
Jump to: navigation, search

Chapter 11: The Start of A Journey[edit]

The Count of Bravil knelt over a pool of blood in a dark basement. He slowly put together his effigy of the goblin shaman. Various body parts had been dug up in the cemetery, and a prisoner mysteriously "disappeared," and now he had what he needed. He carefully placed the body parts in the center of the circle, and finished off by placing the heart in the middle. He then threw the staff down into the heap of body parts.

Porkchop and his new owner fled Bravil under the cover of night. As mist suspended over their heads, they rowed their tiny boat into the Niben bay, unbeknownst to the goblins on the shore. As they began to sail North to the Imperial City, they saw a few fires burning in the woods north of Bravil.

Porkchop and the guard stopped rowing to observe this phenomenon. Well out of range of any arrow or spell cast from the ramparts of Bravil's walls, the goblins were cutting down trees, not only cutting them down...but building things from them as well. Porkchop saw crude ladders, long planks to be used as bridges. He also saw metal stakes that the goblins could use to pull themselves up by.

"We need to hurry" the guard said

But he had said it into nothing, as Porkchop had already swum to the shore. Realizing that now was the time to fight, he prepared for a fierce battle, he had fought better in the arena, and he was sick of running. He would kill the goblins and destroy the siege weapons, and buy him and his new owner some time.

The count had put it together, and now needed to say the prayer. Fighting back tears and sobs, he whispered "Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and fear." Fighting back the tense, tearful expression on his face, he walked up to his chambers and finally went to bed; it had been a long day. He hoped he had done the ritual right.

Two archers looked from the castle ramparts at the goblins, who still waited impatiently for a way to get into the city. They both new eventually the goblins would figure it out.

"Hey what's that?"
"You heard that too?"
"Yeah, it sounded like the goblins are fighting way North."
"I pity whoever ran across them."

The count only had time to sleep for about an hour or so, before he was rudely awakened by a hooded figure clad only in black.

Chapter 12: The Dark[edit]

The count breathed heavily and backed away on his elbows from the Speaker who stood before him. The speaker slowly walked towards him. He was scared; he got off the bed and tried to run. The speaker quickly threw a paralysis spell at him, stopping him in his tracks. She calmly walked over and bent down so she was face to face with him.

"How can I be of service?"

Porkchop was discovered before taking out a single goblin. He had tried the stealthy route, sneaking behind the campfire, and finding a dead Breton in the process, but Porkchop never was the sneaky sort. The goblin that had found him shrieked so everyone within miles could hear it. Porkchop immediately dove and brutally killed the goblin who gave him away, then set to work on the other three dozen.

"What's the matter, Sithis got your tongue?"
"I...uh...Akatosh forgive me...uh...need...a...uh....s-s-something mur-mu-murdered."
"Fine, what will it be?"
"There...there’s a...g-g-g-g-oblin...tri-tribe and to...k-kill their shaman"
"You do realize we murder people, not beasts"

The count had no response to this. The Speaker sighed, and then walked away, as she began to open the door, the count finally piped up.

"I'll pay double...triple...anything!!"

The speaker looked back for a second, and then closed the door.

"Let's get down to business"

Three goblins brandishing maces ran at Porkchop. He picked the middle one, dove, and gored out its throat. The others turned and swung at him. He dodged one mace, and fended off the other with his tusks, causing the goblin to lose his weapon. The goblin fled in terror, the other got ready for another swipe, but Porkchop immediately took out his legs.

Through the clearing Porkchop hacked and slashed his way through goblins. The mist swirled as the Tusked Warrior killed goblin after goblin. After he tackled a goblin, two more would step up in front of him. After he gored one with his tusks, three more would dive at him.

The Speaker made the count empty out all of his possessions. If she thought, it was nice it was hers. It's like divorcing my wife all over again the count thought to himself. There went all of his royal attire. He lost his prized sword, the armor of Bravil and the jewelry he had. The speaker squeezed every last Septim out of his chamber. Finally, after she had dumped the nightstand over in search of more money, she seemed satisfied and left.

"I'll get somebody on it" were her final words

The count crawled into a corner and fell asleep in a ball.

Porkchop slew many a goblin that night. Two score goblins fell before his tusks. Finally, three more goblins remained, all warlords. They were heavily armed with full armor and a dwarven weapon. The three goblins formed a circle around Porkchop.

Porkchop ran at the one to the right of him, flexing as in to jump to the throat, he feinted and dove for his leg. The goblin fell for his trick, and was knocked to the ground. Porkchop then ran right through its head from the side, breaking its neck. Down to two, Porkchop reset, and waited for a goblin to make a stupid move. One did, he took his eyes off Porkchop for a split second to register where his friend was. Porkchop tackled him with agility not seen since his arena days, and the goblin was done for.

The last warlord looked at Porkchop's bloody face and tusks, his friends and forty dead goblins still bleeding on the ground, and ran. Porkchop let him be, and immediately began to drag the wooden siege machines into the fire.

Porkchop's owner, who had seen all of this from a nearby hill, scratched his chin and said:

"That is SOME pig"

Chapter 13: Dawn[edit]

The guard required no verification from the count. It was obvious to see that the speaker had come and went. The count was shivering in the corner, eyes bloodshot, and a pool of cold sweat all around him. The guard called the castle healer in immediately.

Porkchop and the guard worked at dragging the machines into the fire all night. By the time they had dragged the last siege tower into the inferno, it was a razing fire easily visible from Bravil, or even the Imperial City.

The guard and Porkchop finally collapsed into the boat, exhausted. There would be no more rowing tonight, but they vowed to get something done tomorrow, as they drifted through the Niben.

The speaker spent the night at inn of ill omen, North of Bravil. The place had some mystique for her. It was known as a hot spot for assassins of all sorts. Though she guised as a simple woman, (she hid her horse in the back to hide its red eyes), nobody could guess how many people she had killed before.

She would stop here for the night; maybe she could hit one of the merchant's up to share a bed. They would be more than happy to oblige, no murder required. As she drank some cheap wine, she planned her next move.

Odryn and his men marched through the swamps near Elsweyr, north of Leyawiin. His army of loyal followers of the Nine was at his heels. Fresh from a successful campaign in the Khajiit homeland, the knights returned with light feet and beat in their stride.

He marched his army through plenty of caves along the way, including one where plenty of men earned their keep in loot from the bandits and marauders who fought inside. The tone was good; the army had good morale.

Then they came upon a bloody, injured Khajiit wearing tatters.

The two archers finishing up night patrol looked on from the ramparts, a fire they had seen burn miles away was almost out. They couldn't see much as fog obscured much of their view, but they were able to see a few goblins run in to the mass that waited in front of the gates. There appeared to be a large discussion, with plenty of shrill shrieks and growls. Following the meeting, a large portion of the horde headed northward...

"Dang, I wonder what's going on up there."

Chapter 14: Return[edit]

Three days later and the little rowboat finally reached the lower shore of the Imperial Island. Their goal within reach, the guard, and Porkchop trekked Northward to enter the city. In through the Elven Gardens district, they quickly walked through it into the Imperial Palace.

The ruler was currently busy, so the guard and Porkchop needed to speak to the commander of the Imperial Legion. The guard approached him and sought aid.

"Sir, the count and citizens of Bravil beseech aid"
"For what"
"Goblins have besieged our city, we require a battalion of well trained legion soldiers immediately"
"Why have the goblins besieged you"
" (looking at Porkchop)...someone...might’ve brought it in? "
"I see (sigh), well, I'll send a dozen or so rookies to aid you in that case."
"Sir, we will need better, not to mention sea support and a supply line."
"You are lucky I give you this much."
"With all due respect sir..."
"You are dismissed."
"Do you understand me?"
"Yes, but..."
"Then leave."

The guard lost his composure, and punched the commander in the face. The commander fell to the ground bleeding, and Porkchop's owner hurled insults at him, striking nerves with everything he said. Two palace guards came and grabbed him, as he was pulled away towards the dungeons, the commander shouted,

"Hah, good luck, Bravil will never get any help from me, let the citizens starve and the city walls crumble, it will be a city of goblins!"

The unkempt Khajiit was immediately bombarded by questions. "What happened", "Who did this", "Do you need aid", the army asked, every one of them seemed to have a question.

The Khajiit held up his hand to silence the crowd, and then lowered it to speak.

"M'aiq knows much, tells some. M'aiq knows many things others do not"

Porkchop was a free boar; he ran the streets of the Imperial City having the night of his life. Soon however, his memories overcame him. He felt remorse for his owner and anger at the familiar faces.

Porkchop sat under a tree behind a house of the Elven Gardens District, contemplating his plan for the night. Finally, he set up all of his affairs and left into the night.

The next morning, the Black Horse Courier writer's quill shook in fear as he wrote the passage down.

String of Murders in Imperial City

Over night, the population of the Imperial City was cut down. Several murders, both low and high profile were committed. The Imperial watch currently has no suspects at this point, but by their estimates, about two dozen people were murdered last night. They still have not ruled out the Dark brotherhood. The following people were murdered; The blade master of the Arena, the bartender and two customers of the Gilded Carafe, the commander of the Imperial watch, several arena combatants, the residents of a local skooma den, several guards, including one who retired months ago only to be brutally slain in his own sleep; among these countless others.

In an unrelated incident, a Bravil guard managed to escape from jail that he had just been put in that afternoon. Although the rumor mill states that guards were killed in the process, the watch has refused to release any details.

Chapter 15: Aid for Bravil[edit]

As the Niben Bay finally came into focus, the loyal band of knights followed the Khajiit at his pace. The mysterious Khajiit outran all of them. Odryn pondered his words, he mused at what they meant. Some of it was obvious, but other things were not so. Probably just babble Odryn said to himself.

The majority of the goblin horde still had yet to return from their expedition Northwards, so Odryn, M'aiq, and the rest of his men charged upon a weakened horde.

Meanwhile, the guard and Porkchop sailed a small stolen boat down the Niben River. The ship had a decent cargo hold, was very fast, and quite well armed too. They loved their new fast pace compared to the slow grueling speed of rowing.

In the Imperial City, they had gathered a few supporters, some goblin hunters who had their headquarters in a basement. Some Mages Guild runaways eager for some action and sick of reading, and some thieves guild members experienced in sailing, and stealing boats for that matter.

If they could get this shipped stocked full of food taken from various warehouses and shops throughout the Imperial City, they would buy Bravil at least two and a half weeks of good eating.

But then to the North they saw a ship catching up to them, for hours it chased them, it was bigger, faster, and had a battalion of legionnaires inside it.

Odryn watched from the hillside as the cavalry charged the thinned out goblins. The goblins went down like flies as the sea of knights on horseback rode through them. Some of the goblins managed to duck below the lances and longswords and grab pikes off the ground, then a hail of arrows flew down from the ramparts of Bravil, and in less than a minute, the goblins besieging Bravil had been destroyed.

The enemy ship finally caught up with the guard's boat, pulling alongside, the Legion Captain steering it came and spoke to him from across the decks.

"Drop weapons and give us your cargo. Now!"
"What weapons? I'm unarmed."
"Your pig."
"He's unarmed too."
"Not what I meant."
(Playing dumb) “Is there a communication error or something?”
"Don't get fresh with me."
"I'm not, stop yelling at me."
"Good man, if you do not stop patronizing me and get on this boat, you're in for a world of pain when we get back to the Imperial City."
"I'll be dead before I revisit that corrupted hellhole."
"Fine then, we do this the hard way."
"Hard for you."
"And why is that? A boar and an unarmed man are going to stop me. Archers, marks on those men!"

The sounds of a dozen strings being drawn tensed the entire scene. Both captains began to sweat. And Porkchop prepared for a jump onto the other boat, slaughtering a boat full of legionnaires would be a first for him.

Chapter 16: A Hero's Welcome[edit]


A dozen drawstrings were released, the twang and thump noises filled the air. Porkchop dove to take cover under the hail of arrows, so did the guard. Suddenly, there was a mysterious glow.

The mast and sails of the other ship burst into flames. Archers rooted in the masts dove to avoid being burned alive. Some landed on the deck with a sickening smack, others managed to live, and the remaining wound up food for the slaughter fish. Four Mages revealed themselves.

"GET THEM!" The Captain yelled in a fit of rage,

The guards immediately rushed for their weapons only to discover they were missing. A few confused guards went back to the captain in bewilderment, only to find his weapon was missing too.

"Looking for this?" Said a wood elf thief as she pointed to a crate of silver longswords. There were several crates full of weapons, as well as crates for food as well.

"DAMN!" The captain said.

Porkchop's owner yelled over.

"How’s it going over there?"
"You bastard, you won't get away with this"
"What are you going to do, you don't have enough rations to last you a day, and you have no mast for sailing. The only shore you can make it to before you run out of food is there, (pointing to a beach about a mile away), and that's controlled by the goblins, whom you have no weapons to fight."

The captain realized the situation he was now in and immediately put his hands to his face

"Well, cheerio, I gotta deliver this nice tasty food to Bravil, you'd be amazed at how hungry you get after a day without eating, well they won't be hungry for a while, catch you later!"

Odryn marched through the city to abundant cheers. From porches and on top of awnings people were overjoyed for the goblin's defeat at the hands of his army.

Then, the port opened, and the new company of heroes jumped out also to immense praise. They had gotten help, if not much, and the people were grateful. They were even more ecstatic when they began passing out food.

The next morning in the woods north of Bravil, a forester came upon an interesting sight. A shipwreck. And on the ground next to it was a huge array of goblin tracks, and the bloody remains of thirty Imperial Legionnaires. Immediately sensing something had gone gravely wrong, he proceeded to run back to the Imperial City.

Chapter 17: The Council of Bravil[edit]

The parade was cut short by urgent matters. The count summoned Odryn, Porkchop and his owner into his chambers. There they met the guard captain, the head of the mage's and fighter's guilds and Voraihen, a retired warrior.

"Greetings," The guard captain led off because the count was still visibly shaken up, "I would call you here to discuss the future of the city."
"Great, how many enemies have we now."
"Well, I was informed just recently that to the rest of the Imperial Empire, we are a city rebelling. The goblins still haven't returned from their trip towards the North, lord knows what they're doing there."
"Siege Weapons."
"I beg your pardon."
"Porkchop destroyed their previous stockpile, and now I assume they're rebuilding."
"Well then, we are in quite a predicament if they can get inside the walls, is that all?"
"Our army took quite a few marauders out when we were in Elsweyr, they're probably on our tail."
(Sighing) “I hope that’s all."

Porkchop thought of the bandit who had given him the totem staff, but he decided not to mention it.

"Well, what is our plan?"
"We will need food supply, its obvious that an Imperial blockade will come soon, so our choices our either sneaking by it, or going by land."
"We won't stand a chance getting supplies in by land, we'll need to smuggle it."
"Right then, what else?"
"Weapons, armor, horses, men..."
"Ok, so we have quite a task in front of us."
"How long will it take the DB to kill the shaman?"

The count cringed at the words, though he had not said a thing the entire meeting.

The guard captain stood up after a little more conversation.

"Ok, then it is settled. For now, we will get our best seaman and some of the thieves’ guild, to whom we must ally ourselves, and they will run the blockade and steal supplies and rations. Me, and my loyal guards as well as some militia and the goblin hunters you've recruited, will guard the city. Meanwhile, Odryn, you take three of your best men, go with Porkchop, his owner, the mages, and Voraihen. You will gather up as many supplies and fighters as you can too and from Anvil. Soon we must expand our borders, governing, ruling and defending one city constantly will not work. As soon as we have built up a large enough army and protected ourselves, we will turn our sights on another city, may Akatosh be with you all."

A murderer in shrouded armor skulked south of Bravil during the night. This was embarrassing; they had assigned him to kill a beast. He was offended. Killing Khajiits and Argonians was good enough, but goblins crossed the line.

Whatever, he said to himself. I'll just make the most of it.

He opened up a boulder and found a hole into the ground, this was his cave, and a nice secret entrance too.

He took a deep breath, and jumped into the dark depths....

Chapter 18: The Journey[edit]

The next day, the company set off fully packed for a long trip. They departed the area near the city quickly, and slowed down once they had reached the West Weald. They couldn't go on the main roads because they would be reported and then the Imperial Legions would pursue them everywhere.

The first day was rather uneventful, and Porkchop soon found himself wishing for some action. He killed a few mountain lions they had met along the path, but other than that. Nothing. The entire area near Bravil seemed deserted. Must be the goblins, Porkchop thought.

They finally ended their journey for the day South of Skingrad. There they stopped to rest, the towers of Skingrad looming over the treetops. Within three hours, they were all fast asleep.

Little did they know that an Imperial Legion Forester had been tracking them since they left Bravil, seeing Skingrad nearby, he dashed off to get help.

That night, the goblins returned. Fresh and well rested, they marched and carried their crude siege machinery through the forest they razed. The archers on the ramparts sounded the horn immediately, and the soldiers immediately rushed to the battlements.

The goblins now carried Iron shields to defend against arrows. Although hail after hail rained down upon them, only one out of every ten made it through the shield wall. Then the mages appeared over the battlements. Muttering mysterious incantations, they shot fireballs into the oncoming horde.

A fireball found its mark in a group of goblins clustered together, and their charred bodies were thrown away from the explosion, landing among the ranks of their allies and causing confusion in the ranks. A mixture of corrode armor caused the arrows to break through the shields.

The armies of Bravil wrought havoc to the oncoming goblins, but they kept advancing, and were soon joined by another group coming from Rockback Cave. The count came up to the ramparts, with several citizens and servants, carrying oil.

Although many of the goblins lay dead, they were only stepped over. Goblins reached the water and began wading through it. Some couldn't swim, and wound up drowning, but the goblins kept coming, almost like ants, the goblins used their dead comrades as a bridge.

The count gave the order, and oil was thrown all over the river below the ramparts. The goblins wondered if this was supposed to hurt or not, as they experimented with the black liquid they had just been smothered with.

Then a mage threw a weak flare spell down, igniting the river into a sea of fire, cremating the goblins already dead, and burning alive that that remained.

Chapter 19: Ambush[edit]

One of Odryn's warriors had gotten up in the middle of the night when nature called, and he had seen a terrible sight. Over the hillside advanced the Imperial Legions, and he immediately ran back screaming, "At arms!"

"What’s going on?"
(Out of breath) “Legion...under...hill."
"How many”"
"We need someone to hold them off while we escape"

All eyes pointed to Porkchop, Porkchop accepted the deed.

"All right, when you finish Porkchop, meet us at the Isolated House; it’s in the West Weald."

There was much more to that conversation, but Porkchop tuned it out. He didn't need a mage telling him how to fight or some old fart with an army preaching to him. He needed to know whom he had to kill, and where to go afterwards.

The battle of Bravil had reached renewed intensity. The Goblins continued to ruthlessly throw themselves into the inferno, until they finally realized it would be to no avail. The goblins retreated out of archer distance and waited for the flames to die down.

The goblins then carried out a new siege weapon. A catapult. Loading it up, the archers braced themselves for an assault from the wooden contraption. But when they did not hear the "thump" of a rock, but rather a squishy noise, they grew curious and poked their heads out.

The catapult released, and they heard the WHOOOOOOSH of the projectile flying through the air. The object hit the top of the battlements. The archers had one chance to look at its eyes, before it toppled off the battlements, into the city, onto a roof, finally rolling into the middle of the center of Bravil.

The count came out to see it. On the ground was a bloody mess. Bones jutted out, limbs were missing, the face had turned into an unrecognizable distortion. The count was further horrified by the fact that the unidentified person was wearing shrouded armor.

Porkchop braced himself for the attack, standing on the hillside; he saw two dozen legionnaires charging up the hill towards him. They were mounted, but Porkchop was in shape now, no more being overfed by goblins or not eating for a week, he was in perfect shape.

The dust flew up off the horses hooves, and Porkchop got even more prepared. He dug up some dirt for traction, he tested his tusks on a nearby rock, and it was tenser than he had ever thought before.

The first horse galloped up to him, rearing back on its hind legs with a long drawn out neigh. The guard readied his longsword, it was time for the battle.

Chapter 20: The Legion[edit]

Porkchop attacked the horse rather than the guard, goring it in the stomach. In pain, the horse fell over and collapsed on its rider's leg. Porkchop made a mental note: 1. The rest of the legion charged up to meet him, down came the heart of the crowd upon him, as the rest of them began a pincer movement.

Porkchop tackled one rider right off of his mount, and began to dart through the horses legs. He began to gore at the horses too, when they were hit, especially in the thinner parts of the leg, they either reared up or collapsed. Before long, ten riders had been thrown off their horses. Porkchop began to grow tired from the battle; he would need plenty of strength to finish it though, so he fought on.

The rest of the company ran through the woods, jumping over fallen logs and streams, darting around trees and rocks. As they ran, they slipped out words in between heavy breathing.

"Definitely, we don't even...need defend."
"By the Nine, what was that?"

The rest of the company soon found themselves under a hail of arrows. The arrows were very cleverly placed, and one found its mark in a mage's skull. The company now ran with renewed speed. Two more minutes, and they were in the clearing, at the bottom of the valley was the Isolated House. A very familiar Khajiit soon was running next to Odryn, he wasn't out of breath at all, in fact, he looked like he was jogging.

"M'aiq knows men only run when there is danger, which is why Khajiits get more done."
"Where' from?"
"M'aiq comes from his mother and his father. Why would that be such a difficult question?"
"M'aiq has long pondered this question, so he asks the nine for help. M'aiq learns their advice is bad, so he makes up his own advice and spreads it throughout Tamriel"

At this question, they reached the priory, M'aiq kindly opened the door for the rest of the company, holding up two shields he had "burrowed" and blocked arrows for them as they entered, M'aiq checked for there being no more, shrugged, and closed the door.

The battle of Bravil had taken a turn for the worse. On one side, a full-scale naval assault was being done by the Imperial armies. They had been kept at bay for a long time by well-placed fire arrows to the woodwork and sails, but now heavy rain poured upon the city, and the ships were able to advance.

Ladders were strung up to the ramparts, and Legionnaires began to climb up. Most of them had their ladders destroyed, and were thrown into the currents below. But a few made it up, and soon the guards who stood at the gates were summoned to the sea.

After at least a dozen horses were disarmed with their owners, Porkchop left the pile of immobilized to reset on higher ground. He saw on the ground the squirming mass. Horses and men struggled to get out of the chaos. Dead horses and men added to the pile, some were crushed at the bottom.

But half the enemy legion still remained, and now they were reluctant to charge upon the Tusked Warrior. They soon got off their mounts in fear of winding up like the rest of their crew. The horses wisely ran away.

Porkchop now had them right where he wanted them. He prepared for the renewed battle on foot.