User:Puddle/Guide to the Shivering Isles

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By Puddle

This is the Official Guide to the Shivering Isles, the greatest place to live. Penned to give you adescription of each town in the Isles. Never go without it! Even better, It is in the form of Limericks.

Lets start 'with' Passwall
Where brains were small
When it came to wit
They had none of it
Staying here is a bad call
Wow, the Gates of 'Madness'
The bones give me sadness
The Gatekeeper of hell
So many people fell
The Gatekeeper lost his badness
Next 'I' ventured to Split
Did their heads suffer a hit?
A town ripped apart
They were odd from the start
The place smelled like an armpit.
Next, to the town of Hale
Where brains 'can' prevail,
A town of artists
A place I will miss
Ah, wait, was that Redguard a male?

(there appears to be some spit here)

Ugh, Now on to Highcross
A town made out of moss,
They left their houses 'unlock'ed
While they were well stocked
Well, it is their loss.
Ooh, We've finally reached Bliss!
'The' 'walls' I started 'to' kiss!
Might I be going insane?
Am I losing my brain?
I should think about who I kiss...
Now in ugly Crucible,
'A' town that smells like a bull
A 'man' "fell" off a wall
It was so very tall
The incident was laughable
I loved to visit the Palace
'I' saw a Golden Chalice
It belonged to the Manics 'once' before
Hm, It doesn't anymore!
I took it out of malice.
The Museum Of Oddities is ahead
The guards track where I tread.
I think I will be okay
I'll give her the Chalice today
The guards were 'called' instead.
I was deported to Deepwallow
Where the citizens are shallow,
This is such an ugly place
It has no good taste
My dagger made the blood flow.
Now I'm 'in' depressing Fellmoor
But, what's even more
The Khajiits there are enslaved!
Freedom is what they crave
Their slaver is no more!
Execution Point, the view is great!
I think being 'sane' can wait
What was that sound?
Was it a skinned hound?
Oh Sheogorath, you're late!

Signed; Pu-